This weekend I was looking to spend some curled-up-on-the-couch time with Molly. So at one point I suggested, “Hey, why don’t you watch some Downton Abbey with me and Corinne?”
“Noooooo! Ugh, Mom already forced me to watch a couple of episodes with her and I hate it! So boring!”
Now, I have to admit that I still don’t get Downton Abbey. I have no idea why I keep watching it, but I do. And don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it. It’s a very interesting historical education tool. For example, I have learned that, in early-20th-century England, there were absolutely no breasts. It’s a good show.
But nothing happens. Compare it to watching Breaking Bad. One of those two shows is clearly much more likely to facilitate a relaxed, peaceful night’s sleep.
Still, now that I know Molly hates it, it’s on. I’ve taken to hitting her with enticing highlights to tempt my 15-year-old daughter with a taste of what she’s missing.
• Whoa, Molly. You missed it on D.A. last night. The valet was gone and everybody was all, “Well who’s going to dress His Lordship?!” Dude, they were seriously close to having the Earl of Grantham trotting down the stairs to breakfast in his dressing gown!
• Dang, Molly. Some CRAZY stuff going on at Downton last night. All the footmen were gone to war and everybody’s like, “But who’s going to serve at table?!” And somebody goes, “Maybe the housemaids?” And Mr. Carson GOES OFF. He’s all, “This is wartime. But it’s not Sauk Rapids. We will NOT allow women to serve at table at Downton.” Shut them up quick.
• Oh, man, Molly! So last night at da Abbey, some unexpected guests show up and everybody’s just chillin’ and Lord Grantham just, all of a sudden, pops off with, “Of course you shall all stay for luncheon,” and you should have seen Mr. Carson’s eyes! He does this crazy pop-up thing with those whacked-out eyebrows of his, and I’m watching, going, “Oh, snap! WTH?! What’s Mrs. Patmore supposed to just pull lunch for five more out of her dumpy, wide butt?!” And I’m thinking, how the hell are they going to reset the table that fast? There’s, like, NO TIME to bust out the ruler and make sure the silverware’s properly spaced!
I need to stop watching this show. Fortunately, I just saw that season 2 of Game of Thrones is out on Amazon. (I will not be suggesting my 15-year-old daughter watch that one with us.)