NOTE TO MY KIDS: Just don’t even read this one. You’re just going to grumble and go, “Eeewww”, and none of us want that. So skip this one. There’ll be something different tomorrow.
NOTE TO EVERYONE ELSE: I won’t say that this is all bullshit, but I will warn you not to give too much weight to romantic advice coming from me. I’m just spitballing here!
It’s true! Every day can be Valentine’s Day! And, by that, I mean every day can be an anticipation-fueled, disappointment-filled frenzy of poor communication and unmet expectations… Which, now that I think about it, probably triggers a bit of an echo boom for Hallmark in their “I’m Sorry” card division – yet another piece of evidence that the whole holiday is as staged as the moon landing.*
All you’ve got to do is buy into the Kansas City mafia’s pretext and spend tons of time and money building the 14th day of February into some sort of impossible ideal. OR, you could skip all that crap and make every day a little better. Keep it real and be sensible like this:
Share the Load (That’s what she said.)
This morning I went out shoveling a ton of heavy, wet snow off my driveway. (What’s that? No, I don’t own a snowblower. I don’t own a skirt either, so at least I’m consistent.) And, as I was working up a nice morning sweat, heaven sent down an angel to help me. Even though she was staying home sick, my lovely bride and I pushed and panted and groaned and, happily, finished at the same time. Do stuff together. Fun stuff – not so fun stuff – all of it.
Sleep Nude (Damn it kids, I told you to stop reading. You bring this trauma on yourselves.)
According to this fairly interesting study, it’s not as kinky as you might think. In a survey of nearly 100,000 people worldwide, 34 percent of women sleep naked and 38 percent of men do. (Which begs the question – since I THINK it was a survey of couples – are there just 4 percent of guys out there who are truly desperate and hopelessly optimistic?) The fact is, whether you’re conscious and intentional about it or not, being that much closer to your partner just seems to make things … happen more often.
Obviously, telling your partner often that you love him/her is important. The thing I worry about is having it devolve into background white noise. So Corinne and I have a pretty good time with word play. Just about anything can be twisted into a dirty pun. And, for us, that’s romantic. It keeps me on my toes and helps me sweep my wife off her feet.
How is this any different from buying into the whole lame cards/flowers/chocolate paradigm? It just is. Trust me. Don’t ask questions, just do it. And then bookmark fortheloveofcheesecake.com!
*If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m totally whoring myself out in these posts in a shameless attempt to see if I can bump up my web hits. So I’m working on dropping in references to groups of Internet crazies like the Capricorn One crowd!