Divorce is awkward.
(What the hell? He goes a month between posts and that's the best insight he can come back with?)
I mean it though. The family stuff is painful. The financial stuff is infuriating. The legal stuff is emasculating. But it's the friend stuff I want to talk about.
When I went through my divorce a few years ago I was scared, confused, a little bit hurt and a whole lot of sad.
And in the process, I did a lot pulling back and insulating myself. I leaned heavily on family and on a few key friendships, but I pulled back from just about everything that could have been considered a "joint" friendship.
I always told myself it was out of respect for them. I didn't want to place anyone in the awkward position of having to choose sides. I'm pretty good at that – convincing myself I'm a pretty noble and honorable guy. Truth be told, I was pretty much just worried they wouldn't choose me.
So, about a year ago, when Erin started asking, "How come we don't hang out with X and Y anymore? I miss them," I was a little uncomfortable. And when I finally worked up the stones to contact X and Y, I was a little uncomfortable. Actually, I was pretty uncomfortable right up until the point where it dawned on me – I wasn't asking them to choose sides. I was just asking to sit down for a beer.
And we did. And it was great. Corinne and I had a great time. I think X and Y had an okay time too. I'm not saying we're planning on renting a condo in Vail or anything, but we are planning on getting together again soon.
You know – normal stuff.