My name is…

Posted on Posted in Family, Food and Drink, Games, Life


I had a few beers Saturday night.

Nothing excessive or dangerous. We just got together with some friends (thanks Naceys!) and I enjoyed a few bottles of Redhook ESB – a personal favorite.

And, as sometimes happens on the day after consuming a few beers, my body chose to cleanse itself Sunday afternoon. Again, nothing excessive or dangerous. Pretty routine stuff.

But, as I resumed my position behind my computer to continue working (cuz I'm a 24/7 kinda guy that way), Quinn happened to make his way down one flight of stairs:

Q: What the…?! Oh man, who died down here? What stinks? Dad, what did you do?! Ohmigosh, JOSH! You've got to come down and smell this!

[stomp, stomp, stomp]

J: Ohhhhh man, that's terrible! What IS that?!

Q: CLAUDIA! Come down here and smell this! It's terrible!

[stomp, stomp, stomp]

C: Aaaaahhhhhh!!! Oh, that's gross!…

And so it continued until I kicked them all out of the house. (Except Molly, who was blissfully ignorant of the entire situation.)

Now, I by no means want to minimize the severity of the situation. (I took corrective measures and all. I mean, I turned on the fan.) But let me say this: as a male of some worldly experience – a man with experience in athletic locker rooms, college dorms and Army barracks – this was nothing close to a cataclysmic incident.

The reaction outweighed the action. And it quickly became merely a vehicle for launching into all manner of 14-year-old scatological humor (which, of course, is guaranteed to elicit all manner of 10- and 12-year-old laughter and approval).

So when dinner time came I presented my son with a proposition. Quinn, we can go out to Blue Line this evening, and you can get the bacon-cheeseburger you so crave. But you have to wear your sign all through dinner.

“What? All the way through dinner? But that would be embarrassing.”


PS: I didn’t actually make him wear his sign out to dinner. But I did use it as a vehicle to start a nice little conversation about his current (14-year-old) tendency to dish out tons of abuse on siblings, cousins…and occasionally parents!

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